Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
