this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
