Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
