whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
