i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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