I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
