Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
