No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
