hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
