Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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