what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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