Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
