the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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