2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
