I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
