i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
