I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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