shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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