Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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