you guys were way drunker than both of me
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
