he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
