I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
