Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
