Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
