he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
