i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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