It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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