Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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