I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
