He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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