I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
