i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He has the fingertips of a God
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
