By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize