so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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