brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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