I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
