i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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