Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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