i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
