Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
