Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
