He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize