The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
