Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize