Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm just crazy horny about you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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