we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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