I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize