no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
