Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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