They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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