im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
