If i come over, it means nothing
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
