NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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