He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
