Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
