we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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