There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
