Are we in a gay sports bar?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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