You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
