4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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