I cannot find my penis.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
they're like a gay fantastic four
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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